The Onion: The Four Hundred Thousand Dollar Business For Sale
Wheel Graveyard with tomato plant, oregano, basil, onions and sage.
What is for sale?
The land and the business name. You get a bike shop in Boulder, ownership of the property, and use of the Standard Bike Repair brand.
Is it really for sale?
No, this is a joke titled like an Onion theme song. Ryan does not own the property, but secretly wants to sell the business.
Do you have a business license to operate out of the home?
Yes, we are required to live there and follow a list of rules. The City and neighbors get the final say in you staying there.
Will the business license ownership be transferred with the new owner?
No, you would have to re-apply. There is no guarantee that you would be able to continue to run a bike shop out of the area.
Why would I want to buy the business?
Living in a bike shop is a way of life. Adventure tourists dig it.
And 400,000 came from?
My head. I imagined it when I was cooking the books one day.
I want to buy it. What do I do?
Contact Ryan and work out a deal with the state, owners and everybody else. The bidding could go higher than 400.
Will I like living there?
I don’t know. I do.
My bike repair skills are…
It would be good if you already are a mechanic. If not, don’t worry, you will learn.
I like the brand, logo name, but I don’t want to buy the property. Are there franchise agreements available?
Yes. If your name is Kevin Stiffler, you get one free. If not, good luck negotiating with Ryan.
Standard Bike Repair is a Do-it-Yourself shop with low overhead being a key to success.
Do I get to wear the T-shirts every day?
Yes, Derrick at Apollo Ink has screens ready. Sew Good owns the StandardbikeRepair.com patches.
Do you guys make money?
Yes. Our margins are wide and thin depending on the day. Want to make a dollar? Fix a bike.
How much space is there? Looks small,
It is small. We have yet to be discussed on the Tiny Living show.
What is the living space like? Looks like a bus.
The bus starts in the yard with an 11′ x 10′ bedroom. It feeds into the Boat-size kitchen. Next to the port holed kitchen is the Center Room Store. The Parts Room extends the shop space. The pint sized room has a vaulted ceiling and a hip-high workbench with three Heavy Duty Drawers.
There is really a store in there?
Yes, in the middle of the house is the largest room with a door. The Store Room is dominated by a lit workbench, peg board and tools. If the customers can see past colorful and shiny objects surrounding the walls, they will see things for sale.
What is the Parts Room like? Don’t tell me it’s Small with Cubbies and Crannies.
There are nooks, shelves and closet space for bike parts. There is a big red desk wedged into the side-room with three heavy duty part drawers.
Where do you get the printing done? Questions. I don’t know where to start.
We like Fast Signs and our in-house small business copier. Questions like, “I need help running the business. How much assistance will I get from Ryan?” are discussed through purchase.
Do I get control of the Facebook page?
It is a business. You will get to run it. If you would like to kick Ryan out of his house, pay him a bunch of money and give him freedom, he may go to Africa, Rome, Syria or China and open up another Standard Bike Repair.
Is it only on sale Fridays?
Yes, the bike shop is only for sale on Friday. It is a good day to decide “Should I Buy a Bike Shop?”
What exactly am I buying? You say this thing has slim margins, a $400,000 price tag and a lot of work.
You are buying a job. Bicycle Repair will not be a bygone until bikes don’t exist.
The Ultrasonic Bike Parts Cleaner. Do I get that in the deal too?
Yes, preserving bike parts is paramount to staying in business. Re-using parts is efficient.
Do I get control of the Yelp, Yahoo, Bing, Instagram, Pinterest, Twitter and Four Square account too?
Constant Promotion is the key to people finding a shop in the alley. It’s not quite downtown. It is parallel between Arapahoe and Marine. Perpendicular to 18th and 19th Streets. In the alley under the trees, around the students and into the bike shop home.
Bike Shop from the Alley
Fantastically Priced Frugal Friday: The $400,000 Business For Sale
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